One of the most asked questions I receive from my couples might come as a surprise. Should you allow kids at your wedding? It's a predicament that’s a bit awkward. And to be honest, this question does not have a one-size-fits-all answer.
For this reason, every couple should sit down and go through the following 3-part questionnaire to see if having tiny tots around your wedding day is the best move. It’s your big day so every decision needs to be made with consideration and care, keeping in mind the vision you have for your dream wedding.
Maybe there are children running around, maybe it’s an adults-only party. The decision is up to your discretion.
Check out our guided questionnaire to help you decide
How many kids are you planning on inviting?
When planning your wedding, one of the main goals is to stay within budget. Even though they may be small, children still count as a person in your overall headcount (unless they are a newborn of course!). So keep in mind that is an additional plate, chair, and possibly table if there are going to be more than 8-10 children invited.
Those costs can add up quickly, but there are ways to minimize the price. One method includes asking your caterer if they offer a children’s menu. If they do, they hopefully offer it at a lower cost and in return, will save you money.
How kid-friendly is your venue?
Speaking from experience, not all venues are fit for little children. I have seen a rogue ring bearer knock down a glass vase during a ceremony just because he didn’t want to walk down the aisle. Kids can be unpredictable and that's partly the reason we love them so dearly.
However, when it comes to your wedding day, safety needs to be a top priority. Some venues have pools and ponds nearby or lots of stairs. As a parent, those potential dangers can be quite nerve wracking!
Once you invite one, you feel like you have to invite all!
To keep things brief, remember it is your wedding day. Invite who you want. Some kids, putting this bluntly, are not the most well-behaved. And if that’s the case, those kids should not be at your wedding. There are circumstances where children are on their best behavior the entire night too. It's a gamble every time. As a couple, it's up to what risk you’re willing to take.
I recommend setting an age limit as a guideline to help make those tough decisions. I would make it clear when sending out invites whether the couple’s children are invited or not. If someone does not like the guidelines you have set, you can either say you are offering them a date night or just accept that they may not be able to attend.
To be kid-free, or not to be, that is the question
Deciding to invite kids is not an easy decision. Some brides may struggle with this choice, especially if it means excluding family members. But ultimately, it is a decision that needs to be made lightly. Once you have gone through this basic questionnaire, try not to dwell on whose kids are invited and whose are not. The final say is between you and your fiancé!
The best thing you can do is weigh the pros and cons and decide together what type of wedding you envision: kid-free or kids breaking it down on the dancefloor. Both sound fun if you ask me.
Professional tip: If you have a group of children involved in the ceremony, set up a babysitter for the remainder of the night. You want your wedding guests to have a bit of freedom, with still being able to keep a watchful eye on their loved ones. You could even plan some fun activities for the children to do while the reception is going on. Basically, this is the best way to balance both.
All my love,
Sasha